Bawling My Eyes Out

Just read this post after visiting the website, Six Until Me, and wondering, "What does 'six until me' mean?"

http://sixuntilme.com/about/2007/09/what_does_six_until_me_mean.html

It made me cry. Go see.

But EMT's Are Even Better!

Is it really morning and did we really make it through the night? Was it all just a nightmare? Nope, I have the pictures to prove it. (And just so you know, I took the pix to lighten the mood. Allie was in the very capable hands of the emergency workers and she joked that at least she'd have something to blog about, so of course, I grabbed the camera).

Allie comes out from her room about 10 o'clock last night and is totally freaked out. She tells me she thinks she just accidentally took 30 units of Novolog instead of 30 units of Lantus (Lantus is a slow-acting insulin that lasts for 24 hours and Novolog is a fast-acting insulin taken with meals). My mind froze in time when she said that, just for a second or two. Then it quickly contemplated the enormity of that statement. 30 units of fast-acting insulin. Oops. Major oops. This was bound to be a repeat of L's extreme low I had just been part of Saturday morning (see post below). Or worse. Much worse.

In order for Allie to pretty much not die from this, we would have to feed her...are you ready for this? 420 carbs. How does a normal person eat 420 carbs in a meal, especially when they've had 3 meals today already? (Just as a comparison, Allie normally take 4-6 units of insulin per meal, on average). Well, Allie realized immediately that there was no way that was going to happen. She was shaking and crying and saying she didn't want to die. She told me to call 911. I obeyed immediately. In the meantime, she sucked down 4 Capri Suns while I called the doc. Doc said just keep feeding her and wait for the ambulance. I didn't think her stomach could hold enough; I kept the Glucagon kit in sight. I was so scared, but kept telling Allie everything would be totally okay.

The EMT's/paramedics arrived so quickly. I love and adore them (thank you, Rural Metro, Southwest Ambulance, and the Sheriff's Office! We love you!). They calmed us down by telling us that if necessary, they would put sugar directly into Allie's bloodstream. That relaxed me incredibly, but my brain could still not think properly. I'm usually good with this sort of thing, but 30 units of Novolog pushed me over the top. I knew we were in for a very long night. (Al finally went to sleep around 1, and I stayed up 'til 2 to continue checking her sugar, which dropped another 100 points by then, but then slowed way down. I got up at 6 to check again and of course, can't go back to sleep...another zombie day...fun.)

I really need to take a more careful stock of what's in our pantry at all times. The EMT's wanted me to get some protein in with her carbs and told me to put some peanut butter on the bagel I had given her. I rummaged in the pantry and the fridge, but no peanut butter, just almond butter which had been sitting for forever and needed stirring. As I struggled to get the almond butter to an edible consistency, I muttered, "Am I the only mom in America without peanut butter? Almond butter? What am I, a hippie?" The EMT's laughed. Laughing is good. If they could laugh, then everything was going to be okay.

Once we felt (and the EMT's felt) that we were out of danger, all the emergency workers left and Allie continued to eat. I lay on the couch and tried to wake myself up from this nightmare. I really thought I could for a minute or two. Then I realized this nightmare is our reality; it's our day-to-day life. It's Allie's reality for the rest of her life unless someone finds that cure.

Glucagon is Our Friend

Saturday started off with a BANG! I've never been so scared in my life.

I had just jumped in the shower and barely gotten wet when Todd opened the door and handed me the phone saying it was one of my best friends (we'll call her "A" for anonymity purposes) and an emergency.

A was crying and her voice was shaking and she told me she had just given her sister (we'll call her "L") a glucagon shot because she was so low she was having seizures.

My heart sank, I went numb. I hung up and threw on sweats and drove over (she's only 2 streets away, so it only took like a minute).

When I got there, the whole family was gathered around L who was sitting on the couch looking totally zombied...glassy eyed, confused. It was heartbreaking. I leaned in to her and asked her if she knew who I was. She said no and started crying. So then all of us were crying. It was so traumatic.

I had A check L's sugar and she was coming up nicely...she was well into the safe range, but her mind wasn't quite back yet. She didn't know her little niece and nephew. She couldn't remember her doctor's name or how much insulin she had on board.

It took a full hour for L to come back fully. By then, she could remember pretty much everything and she was just plain tired. I felt so bad for her.

A, my friend--you handled that SO WELL! I am so proud of you. I know how scary that was and you did everything right! YOU ROCK! I'm so glad this happened at your house and not when L was home alone.

Since then, I've had my eye on Allie's glucagon kit every second. I've practically glued it to her body. You just never know.