Our story; the prediagnosis, diagnosis, hospitalization and daily life with type 1 diabetes.

Click here for our prediagnosis/diagnosis Story

Type 2 diabetes is (in a nutshell) insulin resistence. The body makes the insulin, but the receptors on the cells are impaired at taking it in, therefore sugar accumulates in the blood. Can usually be reversed with diet and exercise. There are pills that increase insulin sensitivity.

TYPE 1 DIABETES IS AN AUTO-IMMUNE DISEASE for which there is no prevention or cure (yet!). The body's own immune system destroys the beta cells in the pancreas which produce insulin. As insulin production ceases, sugar accumulates to extremely dangerous levels. Insulin injections MUST be given at each meal in order for food to be used. Without insulin, the person with type 1 diabetes would starve to death in a short time. Type 1 diabetes cannot be outgrown. It cannot be reversed by diet and exercise.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Bad "D" Day

I am having a bad D day. I think it was sparked by Allie's dad telling me yesterday that she needed her insulin adjusted because she had been having some crazy lows. He asked me who I take her to to have the insulin adjusted. Answer: me. I adjust her insulin. But Allie seems to have taken care of it herself. She thinks her pancreas might be producing a little insulin because she'll be around 300 after a meal and not bolus much and be around 70 within a hour. She thinks it's because of the homeopathic remedy Dr. Gelburd gave her. Or maybe it's me who thought that. Which of course, sparked this painful little iota of hope in my heart that maybe that remedy is the cure. Maybe it's balancing her system out and those rogue beta-cell-killing white blood cells are going remiss and will rest and allow her beta cells to regenerate, to start producing insulin again. I imagine--for just a hair's width of a second--life without needles, lancets, test strips, glucose meters, insulin bottles, cool packs, keytone strips, fear, worry, panic, dread....

Ah, to dream of having freedom and peace back. It's too painful to hope for; the let down too unbearable to deal with.

I

hate

diabetes.

It comes like a spy, like a sneak in the night and steals your good dreams.

It goes out in rippling waves of unbalanced chaos and wreaks havoc on the inside: the kidneys, the heart, the eyes, the tiny blood vessels. "You look so healthy, it can't be that serious." Ha! That's how the trickster gets you in the end. With a subtlety so practiced and perfect it's not recognizable to the untrained eye.

It follows you around all day, all night, every day. It doesn't give you a break. If you turn your head for a minute, it's there waiting to cheat you in yet another way or steal one more piece of your sanity.

I

hate

diabetes.

And now my rant is over.

I am going to go eat something and feel guilty becuase I don't have to first: test my blood sugar, count the carbs, draw up the insulin, inject it, hope it turns out to be the right amount, suffer a blood sugar high or low if it wasn't.

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if i say it enough, it has to come true, right?
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